Updated: Jun 8, 2021
The way we look at success is often not the way that God sees success. We are often influence by the world and what they say. Who we follow on social media, what we see on TV, and all of things that really do not matter.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.”
Isaiah 55:8 KJV
So today I was reminded about a time in my life when I just knew I was unsuccessful at life. Success at that time meant having a car, a job, attaining my degree, and whatever other things the world defined success as.
Well I wasn’t doing no such thing. I was living with my parents, no job, flunked out of school, and could barely afford to put gas in my car. Which by the way was hanging on it’s last limb.
This feeling of worthlessness and feeling like a failure lead to depression. I thank God thoughts of suicide barely existed but at the time I felt helpless. I had no fight left in me. Everyday I would lay in my bed till night came unless I was hanging out with friends.
The only thing I would do is hang out with them and go to the bar or smoke weed. That’s the only thing that eased the pain and helplessness I felt. I really didn’t even notice I was depressed until one day my mom came into my room it was late morning.
I had slept all I could sleep but still refused to get out of my bed. My mom asked me if I wanted some grits eggs and bacon. I still remember his because it was one of those days that changed my life forever. I refused the meal. This meal was one of my favorite breakfast and I didn’t have to cook it. How could I say no?
This is when I began to notice that this was not only impacting me but i was giving away my life freely to depression. In that moment I knew I wanted change and if something didn’t change I wouldn’t probably survive long with no Will for the basic necessities of life.
All of sudden I remember this bible that my mom had gave me a couple years back it was pretty and pink. I felt lead to open it and began to read. God had grabbed a hold of me right in his timing. He knew my success was in him, not in this world.
He ministered to me and pulled me closer in that time, by no means was I perfect. To be totally honest I was still in my sin but he restored my soul. He restored my hope to be in a better place.
I still had hopes and dreams to fulfill that he placed inside of me. The biggest thing is I didn’t no longer see success as something obtain in this world but as a mindset. This mindset that God had given me and the world could never take from me again.